Parenting......

(Disclaimer....I am not an doctor, family counselor, or expert of any kind. I am just a parent.)

Parenting is very difficult. I'm not going to lie. I can think of no other job on earth that has the ability to take you from the heights of joy to the depths of sorrow or heartbreak......sometimes in the same minute!

Brian and I have tried to be intentional parents. We began consistently discipling our kids when they were very young. Sometimes we do well. Sometimes we mess up. We talk to our kids a whole lot, even when they were tiny. We always explain, probably way more than necessary. My grandmother, Maureen, used to tell me, 'You are talking your kids to death!'

One thing I have told our kids regularly is, 'I am not your friend, I am your mother.' This might seem harsh, but we sincerely believe it is our responsibility to parent our kids, not befriend them.

Parenting in the noun form is defined as 'a person who brings up and cares for another.' Parent is also a verb meaning 'to be or act as the parent of.' Parenting is a verb, it requires action!

My daughter and I have been talking quite a bit lately. I love this. I'm still working hard to be the non-freaker outer kind of mom. (I did learn a valuable lesson from veteran mom, Shelly Miles, early on not to gulp the oxygen out of the room when confronted with one of the tough ones.) We talk about anything she wants, even the hard stuff. Sometimes, I don't have the answers. That's ok. I want her to know that it's important to ask the questions. It is great to have this kind of relationship, but it hasn't happened overnight. We have spent Katie's 15 years of life not only parenting, listening and loving; but also correcting, disciplining and guiding. It's our privilege as her parents to have the opportunity to speak truth into her life; even when its uncomfortable.

We don't want to be her friend. I think of friends as peers or people who like to hang out together, but family....they know everything there is to know about you and love you anyway!
The parent-child relationship is somewhat designed to end in a way. Once kids grow to be adults, maybe even parents of their own kids, the parent-child relationship takes on a different form. This relationship is like no other. I like to think of parenting as raising adults. Everything they need to know about being an adult comes from us!

Parenting takes strength. Some days my heart breaks for what my kids hear, see and feel. I don't want them to go through it! Especially during these turbulent teenage years. The world is cold. People are mean. We can't cushion every fall. We can't dry every tear. We can't rescue them from every hurt. We can be there with a band-aid and a hug. We can offer Kleenex and a kiss. We can throw a life preserver. This is what we do.

It's our job to help navigate, especially through the tough stuff. Sometimes it seems like the kid might drown, but then, just in time, she grabs the ring. She's going to have to do some swimming, but you help pull her in. And if you're me, you are talking her to death while reeling.

I'm sure you have great parenting advice. I write from the little bit of experience I have with the 2 entrusted to us. Whatever your experience, encourage someone. Did I mention, parenting is hard? Not one of us has all the answers. We need each other.

Listen, love and pray. Not necessarily in that order.

m

Proverbs 1:8-9 NLT
My child, listen when your father corrects you.
Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction.
What you learn from them will crown you with grace
and be a chain of honor around your neck.

Ephesians 6:1-3 NLT
Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”